Just a few words about Rolling Thunder

I just wanted to send a shout out to Juliet and Kimmy whose stories have recently been inspiring me and to my readers who, I hope, enjoy these stories

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Chapter 13

Summer moved on
And the way it goes
You can't tag along
Moments will pass
In the morning light
I found out

Seasons can't last
And there's one thing
Left to ask

Stay, don't just walk away
And leave me another day
A day just like today
With nobody else around
(From “Summer Moved On” by a-ha)

It was my turn to be up in the middle of the night, pacing his Montreal apartment in the dark, trying to decide what, if anything was the right thing to do. 

We’d just been for dinner with a giant of a man, Georges Laraque who, though just his size had been intimidating, turned out to be a giant teddy bear. He’d spent the entire night talking about his home town and everything that was going on there and then Max had asked me to go with them on a mission of mercy to Haiti, just like that. 

Part of me had wanted to say yes, because the idea of being without him made my stomach hurt and because big Georges had made it sound like it would change my world to go. 

It was the reply I didn’t give, the one I heard in my head and couldn’t believe I almost said that made up my mind. ‘I just escaped the trailer park. I don’t want to go back to poverty ever again’. The words had nearly escaped from lips and probably would have had I not been saved by a hovering waiter that Max was sure was leering at me. I didn’t think so. I was pretty sure he could see what I am through the black halter dress and the diamond tennis bracelet. 

I’m a fraud. 

I don’t belong in this world and that waiter had seen it, probably even when I had declined the menu, unwilling to even try to decipher its’ contents. If it hadn’t been then it had probably been the look on my face when Max told me what foi gras was. 

I like the nice cars and the good wine and all of Max’s other toys but I like them too much and I like him, but not enough. I’m doing exactly what my mother had told me to do. I’ve been clinging to him like a life raft, sure that if I let go I’ll get sucked back to the trailer park and my second hand life. 

I have to let go. I have to learn to tread water and not just so that I can hold my own head up, but so that one day, maybe, I can be the kind of woman that I feel like when Kristopher looks at me. 

“Jesus fucking Christ Tanger! Sensitive little ears here!” Sidney shushes me, clapping his hands over Cody’s ears and actually looking shocked, which, I don’t know why, but it surprises me that he is. 

“Oh please,” Tabby bounces Toby on her knee, holding his arms out and grinning down at him. “Our sons are going to grow up around a hockey rink full of hockey players who have potty mouths. Not to mention an Aunt whose mouth is almost as rank as her father’s,” she adds with a raised eyebrow as she sneaks a glance at Sid’s little sister who is folding baby clothes, warm and fragrant and fresh out of the dryer so quietly that I’d actually forgotten she was there. I feel my entire face get hot and let my hair fall in front of my eyes when she looks up and grins. 

“Do you want our kids talking about a ménage a trois on their first day of school?” Sid hisses, under his breath, as if Cody isn’t engrossed in everything he says no matter how loud or how soft he says it. 

“Oh hell, I am so expecting a call on their first day of kindergarten from some frantic teacher telling me that Toby’s pile driving some kid in the head and calling him a stupid inbred mother fucker,” she says in that high pitched cooing sort of voice that you only use for little kids and dogs. I look over at Sid whose staring daggers at his wife, but either she doesn’t notice or that particular look no longer works on her because she just continues to make faces at Toby and ignoresSid.

“So what am I going to do?” I ask, looking between the two of them and trying to forget that Sid’s sister is staring at me with that ‘I know what you did’ expression on her face. Whatever she thinks about it, it can’t be as bad as the way I’m already judging myself for it and I haven’t even told anyone about the actual detail of the physical interaction because I can’t say it without stuttering. 

“I told you there’s something off about that girl,” Tabby says in a matter of fact sort of way and I hate that I feel sort of relieved that it’s Rebecca being judged badly and not me, for now anyway. 

“But you told Max you liked her,” Sid interjects and Taylor snorts and then quickly hides her laughter behind her hand. “What?” he turns and the look he gives his younger sibling makes me shift uncomfortably on my spot on the couch. 

“Oh don’t look at me like that big bro. C’mon, we all know that Max is all kinds of fucked up so of course Tabs said she was alright for him. Do you think that your everyday, garden variety nice girl next door would make it two weeks with Johnny Vegas?” As I watch, Sid’s dark, unhappy expression slowly softens and then he too shrugs and nods. 

“Exactly my point,” Tabby says, suddenly appearing beside Sid and lifting Cody out of his lap one handed, scooping him by his pajama clad bottom. “She’s fine for Max but for Kris we want someone who whistles while she works,” she grins over at me and a DVD magically appears in Toby’s hand and he chews on the edge of the box, sending a line of spittle down the face of it, right over the picture of Snow White and some of her dwarves overlooked by her evil step mother.

“But you don’t know…she’s had it really rough,” I explain, thinking about her mother still lying in a coma in hospital and the dad who disappeared when she was little. 

“And that’s Max’s problem to deal with,” Tabby responds affectionately, a maternal sort of smile on her face that’s not for her sons but for me. “You don’t want a complicated girl Kristopher. You want the nice girl from next door, some primary school teacher or a nice receptionist or something.” 

“And what if he loves her?” I look over at Sid who’s watching me with that expression on his face that he usually wears out on the ice when he’s analyzing the space between players, playing the moves they haven’t made yet in his head. It makes me feel naked and not like naked physically because I’ve grown up getting changed around other guys and that doesn’t phase me. Being emotionally naked though, that blows.

“Jesus, am I that transparent?” I ask, more to myself than to him and Sid looks back at me with a sympathetic, almost sad expression on his face as he nods. 

“Then he does what a good white knight on his trusty steed does,” Taylor says quietly as all of our attention swivels to her. “You save her from the dark night’s evil clutches with a single kiss.” 

“Please come.” 

I’m begging and I fucking hate it. I hate that she’s making me do it and I hate that she’s wearing another one of those outfits that he picked out for her while she makes me do it. She looks great but she also looks corporate hot and that’s more his thing than mine and it pisses me off. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I’d just thought he has good taste and if she looked kinda hot, it didn’t matter if it was more the kind of hot that got Tanger off or not, but now it does. 

“I’d just be farther away if something happened and besides,” she says softly, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder, “I should go back. I mean, I don’t have any reason not to go back home now that she’s not there and…you’ll be so busy you don’t need to have me under your feet while you’re being the big, strong man building that…what is it a hospital or a school?” She looks up at me with those big dark eyes and I still feel mad, but just not at her. She doesn’t really look like she wants me to go and the way she’s been touching me all the way here and the way she’s holding onto me now, it’s like a little kid not wanting daddy to leave and it fucking well is playing havoc with my head. 

“Hospital,” I sigh, cupping her cheek in my hand and leaning down to kiss her, capturing her full lips with mine and tasting the saccharine sweetness of her lip gloss. “Who’ll kiss my booboos better if you’re not there?” 

“Big Georges can,” she grins up at me with that sleepy look she gets when she’s been thoroughly banged and I know I made sure neither of us got much sleep last night. If she wasn’t going to come with me to Haiti then she was damn well going back to the ‘Burgh not walking right for a week. 

“You’ll be there when I get back though right? At my place I mean,” I add needing to think of her in my bed, in my house, still mine. 

“Mmm, I don’t know,” she mumbles, looking down and away from me and I can feel that green gremlin rising inside of me, but she runs her hands up my back and presses herself close to me. “I should clean up my place, make it ready for if…,” she catches herself and squares her shoulders as she takes a deep breath. “For when she comes home,” she says, correcting herself and then she looks up at me again with those limpid pools of melted chocolate and smiles. “But phone me when you’re on your way back and I’ll be there. I’ll even wear that purple velvet thing you like,” she adds, that sad smile of hers suddenly turning into something that I’m more used to, that playful, seductive smile that makes me want to drag her onto the plane and make her a member of the mile high club. 

“I’ll really miss you,” I tell her, meaning it and she smiles brilliantly at me and offers me her mouth and I kiss her hard, wanting her to leave her looking like a woman that’s been kissed often and by a man who knows how to please a woman. 

“I’ll miss you Maxy,” she purrs, running her hand down until she’s cupping my ass and giving it a good squeeze. “Who else will spank me when I’m bad?” She’s making me hard and she knows it and the light in her eyes tells me that this is her own way of sending me off so that I really will miss her. 

“I’ll just have to give you some extra strokes when I get back to make up for it,” I growl at her, pressing my erection into her stomach, letting her feel how much I’m going to miss her. I glance around, wondering if there’s a washroom nearby that I can take her into and take her one more time for good measure, make her walk out of here with my cum dripping down her legs but what I see is some of the guys I’m going with giving me that look like they know what I’m thinking and Rupper even taps his watch and shakes his head at me. “I’ll text you and I’ll call when I can,” I tell her instead. “I don’t know what it’s like for making calls. Georges said a lot of the lines are still down and that but I’ll try.” 

“You’ll come back all tanned,” she sighs, like that’s the one thing she’s missing out on by not going, but then she looks up at me and lets me see in her eyes that she’s thinking about how I’ll look naked with a tan and that makes me groan out loud.

“Seriously, you’re killing me, you know that,” I sigh and force myself to think about anything else but her body, Flower’s skinny white ass, Sid’s disgusting jock and Brooksy’s rank shoulder pads. “I have to go ma petite,” I add, kissing her forehead and then her cheek. “Please be good, huh? Be a good girl and I’ll be home soon.” She nods and kisses me once more before Rupper physically drags me away from her and I go stumbling down the corridor to the plane, glancing back at her in that clinging black dress that screams sexy secretary and I pray that she isn’t going back to Pittsburgh to the guy that helped her buy that dress.


  1. Nope you are not going to convert me to Team Tanger I am staying Team Max. The end. Though that was great and there's a soft spot developing for that long haired boy.

  2. her and max are such opposites that they work. i just wish she tells him and kris on how shes living this double life. i have this feeling it'll blow up in her face very soon.

  3. I'm still Team Tanger but I hardly think Max is the 'evil black night'. Please find someone for Max! :)

  4. It makes me so upset to read how Tabby and the rest think about Becky, not everyone was roses and Tabby sure as hell wasn't what she was now when she first met Sid, I feel horrible for Max because i have this gut feeling she's going to keep herself occupied with Mr. Letang while Max is out being a saint. Still Team Max, i don't think that'll ever change, Kris needs to find him self his own girl and not pouch his Team mates

  5. I just hate that people are thinking that she's trash, especially Tabitha and her friends. They were struggling financially and acting pretty skeazy before they all latched onto an NHL'ers arm- actually her two friends are still skanky....